September 9, 2009

September 9, 2009


I’m fucking screwed again.

Mom and dad found out I was with Derek on Saturday night. God fucking damnit! So I’m in deeper shit and can’t go anywhere and probably have to wait longer to get my car back. Mom hasn’t gotten home yet so it’s just a matter of time until I get my ass chewed again. UGH! I hate this. And Derek isn’t texting me back – he just did and said okay. Nothing more to say. I just hope to God I can keep my job.


I know I’ve lost my parents’ trust and gotten the car taken away. Please just let me keep my job. I won’t hang out with Derek or anyone else. I will stay with my friends and people from my school. Please please please please. And it’d be great if I could go to Kayla’s party. But I doubt it.

Bad night.

Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember this time very well and learning that my mom especially had issues and was extremely judgmental about the people who worked at my job. She required me to get a job when I was 16 but then judged who I worked with and took any opportunity she could to control me and who I spent time with. It was like she couldn’t trust me to learn on my own and tried to keep me within this invisible box.

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