November 3, 2007

November 3, 2007

Saturday

OMG! Today, well actually last night Tabitha, Delia, Rhonda, Hannah, Beth, and Courtney came up to the cabin for my all-nighter. So, we get up there and we start going for a walk, and “that guy” comes out on his four-wheeler and comes over to us! We all stop, and everyone knows that this is the guy I’ve had a crush on for like the past three years. So, Beth pushes me like over by him and yells my name. So, he asks us where we’re from and why we’re in this tiny town. And we just talked until it got like pitch black out. Yeah, we were all cold, so he went in to get something to eat and we went in to get warm. As soon as we got in and sat down he comes over and comes and eats with us!!! Yeah, he brought over a box of cheese crackers. After eating, we went to play LOL – Lines of Laughter. But we all just kept talking. Hannah was really flirting with him. But she didn’t even know she was doing it. I didn’t get mad at her. It wasn’t a big deal. And then we played BS. After that he had to leave. Then we went to bed. Well, no, it’s an all-nighter! We talked and played the circle game. That was really funny. Courtney fell asleep at 2:30 and everyone else fell asleep past 4. It was a lot of fun! Then in the morning, we went outside to take pictures, and to “get the mail” and he came out again and we talked to him some more. Hannah didn’t flirt as much. And I was standing right across from him in our circle! So, I think he was looking at me a lot. And he had a little five o’clock shadow, that was so cute! 😊 yeah, well then, we left. But that night was one AWESOME night!!! I will never forget it. Oh! And his name is Aaron! He’s a sophomore in a different high school from ours, and he has his driver’s license!

Ava Estelle

Present day me: this entry was a fun memory to revisit. This was the first time a guy was almost geographically close enough for me to interact with in person and possibly go out with or date. But he ended up going out with a different girl. It was probably because I lived in a different town full time, went to a different school. He dated a girl who went to his school and lived down the street from him/my cabin. My friends were funny around him too since they didn’t have much experience around guys. I remember staying up all night and then getting ready in the morning before taking pictures. I stayed in my pajamas, but I did my hair and made sure I looked good.

September 2, 2007

September 2, 2007

Sunday

Well, this past Thursday was my birthday party! It was from 7 until 10pm. I invited 9 girls. We did a scavenger hunt type thing that Cathy made up. And then opened presents and did cake. We were all going to go out and sit by the fire but, we all just sat in the living room doing prank phone calls instead. So later that night we took Courtney home. Phoebe drove her. Paula, Tabitha, and Courtney got into the back of the car, and Courtney asked, “so who are we taking home first?” and ALL four of us said, “you” at the same time. Tabitha and Paula were staying overnight. So, we ended up staying up til 5 in the morning. And then took them home later that morning.

So today we went over to Uncle Ron and Aunt Penny’s house (the new one) and went swimming in their pool for the afternoon. On our way home we stopped at Applebee’s for my birthday dinner. It wasn’t really birthday-y. It seemed more of a usual/normal out to dinner with the five of us. We didn’t get dessert, so yeah. That’s about it!

Oh yeah! I got $100 from Oma and Opa! I only need $20 more until I have $250!

Ava Estelle

Present day me: that was an awesome birthday party of mine! I remember everyone getting along. The scavenger hunt was around my yard and a couple neighbors’ yards. It was so much fun. When we dropped off Courtney, I remember feeling a teensy bit bad because we didn’t tell her the other two were staying over. But this was a time when I was trying to get closer to other friends of mine and not as close with Courtney. Also, spending time with my aunt and uncle was always nice! They had a very large house with an outdoor pool and hot tub.

October 12, 2007

October 12, 2007

Friday

1:26pm

Hey! Two of my cats are lying next to me on my bed at the cabin. Listening to the song Paralyzer and enjoying my clean room.

So, I was looking on the baker’s rack for whatever and I found a piece of paper that my dad wrote a poem on. Every time someone passes away, he goes by himself and thinks and writes a poem. It’s kind of interesting. And I decided to copy it down in here.

Dad’s poem about Gram’s passing

One day you will not be part of tomorrow. Your soul will be free to soar with the angels. Those of us you leave behind shall mourn your loss and miss you. The good you shared and the love you offered will take you home. Your example will guide us forward as we march on through the time that is ours.

That totally makes sense about Gram. I really miss her. Whenever I think of her, I think of when I hugged her, her voice and what her hands felt like. How her food tasted like. When she’d bite into a cookie me or Meryl made, her eyebrows would raise and she said, “mm, these are good,” and whenever she’d finish a cookie, she’d rub her hands together to get the crumbs off. I remember her rings and how her laugh was. And whenever we’d go into her kitchen and open her fridge she’d ask us, “what would you like?” Watching her put a quilt together or showing me one of her quilts. She loved sewing. She taught me many things, especially with sewing, some cookie making things too.

When she taught me how to knit while she was up at our house over the summer. She walked with me and Eddie to the store to get soda and juice for our drink stand. HOBBY LOBBY – the first week I stayed by her, I got a TON of stuff with her there. She kept telling people we went to the store Holly Hobby, haha. Yeah, there were a lot of fun times with her. I really miss her.

<3 Ava Estelle

Present day me: this entry was a very very tearful memory. I read it and cried before I could even type it out. This is like a cozy hug from my Gram. She was so full of love and comfort. I still really miss her every day. I’m thankful I’m still connected to the rest of my family on that side. They have little parts of her within each of them. I am very thankful I have these memories to read about so many years later.

August 29, 2007

August 29, 2007

Today is the day before my birthday party. I’ve pretty much cleaned the upstairs. Meryl and Eddie aren’t doing anything to help clean the house. Phoebe is coming tomorrow too. So, we’ve got to get the whole house clean. And just now, Meryl’s friend, was over here with her dog. I brought our new kitten over to meet the dog and the kitten freaked out. He scratched my arm and my face and my lower lip. (I think he might have pee’d on me a little bit too) so now I have a little fat lip. It hurts. I hope it goes away by tomorrow.

And (of course) mom came home from Meryl’s physical today and was soooo crabby. She walked up the stairs and started clapping her hands (And I was on the computer) so she yelled at me to go outside….

Mrs. Willow just called me. She’s going for her daughter’s orientation at the middle school I used to go to. She wanted to call me to see how I was doing. And now that I’m off the phone with her I’m crying. Because hearing her voice reminded me so much of confirmation and 8th grade and middle school. I really miss it all. A lot at the moment. Now I kind of know what everyone felt like on the last day of middle school. ☹ I’m really glad she called though.

Ava Estelle

Present day me: This was a touching entry for me to revisit. The interaction of a kitten clawing at my face when scared of a dog, my mom being crabby and yelling at me to get outside (since being inside all day was looked at as being lazy, especially if I was on the computer) and lastly and kind phone call from a woman who I looked up to and cherished. That was very comforting but also emotional! This peek into the year of 2007 for me has been cathartic.

August 22, 2007

August 22, 2007

4:40am

OH MY GOSH I just woke up from the SCARIEST dream I’ve ever had. I had a dream about dad dying. He was on his business trip, and as he was driving home, he got hit by a purple semi. Woah. I was like really shocked. All else I can remember is us all, being shocked and kind of to ourselves about it. I even asked mom if we’re going to sell the cabin. She said, probably. After I woke up from the dream I laid in bed and cried for like 10 minutes.

 I rethought about the whole dream again and this is what I came up with. At the beginning of August, I had a dream about Oma dying (she got shot in the head, twice) so, when Oma and Opa both came up to the cabin a couple weeks ago we went out to eat. On our way back home, we turned onto a county highway and almost collided head on with a car that was on the wrong side of the road! My dad totally swerved into the shoulder and around this car! Who was sitting in the front seat? Oma.

Present day me: Having the time to read these entries and type them out to present to others has been a very cathartic and somewhat of a struggling experience. Having this entry be in my mind current day, it’s made me realize a giant foreshadowing of my life from these two dreams occurring within this month and year. In late September 2007 I lost a loved one that I was very close to. It wasn’t someone mentioned in this entry, but it was someone in connection with my dad. She and I had special time together during her lifetime. I learned important life skills. She taught me how to knit, sew, bake cookies and just be calm at home. Staying with her, without my siblings, helped me find that calm within myself. I didn’t need to leave the house to have fun. I learned that from these experiences.

Losing her right as I was beginning high school made it a time where my grief wasn’t really expressed. I ended up dealing with it in short amounts as time went on. These dreams gave me a clue into what was about to happen. Reading this entry today, many years after this loss, makes me realize this.

June 10, 2007

June 10, 2007

10:13pm

Yesterday (first day of summer vaca weekend) me, Meryl and mom walked downtown to the post office. On the way home we walked by the farmer’s market. It was pretty cool looking. We didn’t buy anything. Then that night me and Tabitha went to Hannah’s house for a party. We had a water fight. 8th graders and 7th graders against 6th graders! I got really wet! It was a ton of fun though! All the 6th graders had all the water guns and the 8th and 7th graders had cups of water. Haha! Then me, Tabitha, Rhonda, and Maria hung out, talked and danced to my CDs! Everyone danced and sung along! 😊

Then today, I went over to Tabitha’s mom’s house. We ran through her sprinkler and went over to a playground nearby. We ate subs for lunch. It was good!! I rode my bike home and mom took me over to Delia’s house. We watched Epic Movie (not that good) and had mac and cheese and smoothies! Now I’m home! And I should go to bed soon!

TTYL!

Ava Estelle

Present day me: Boy did I get into a lot of fun stuff when I was a kid. I was so lucky to have this many friends who wanted to do all these things together. I cherish these memories. They have made me who I am today to some degree.

June 9, 2007

June 9. 2007

7:12 am

I just woke up twelve minutes ago. But I just wanted to write about the last couple of days. Thursday, the 8th grade class went to an amusement park two hours away! It was so awesome!!! I hung out with Tabitha, Courtney, Rhonda, and Brit. The first ride we went on was the Extreme Swing. Me, Courtney and Rhonda went on it, if Brit would of went on it, Tabitha would of….but whatever. We went on more rides, ate lunch then went on some roller coasters. 😊 I love rollercoasters and Tilter and Scrambler! That was pretty much the Thursday.

So, yesterday (Friday) was the last day of school! 😊/☹ I was happy for no more homework and then sad for no more friends. Well, in the morning right away, we got our class 2007 t shirts! They were ugly. (gray with blue lettering. All our names were on it though!) We all went to the cafeteria for signing of things and breakfast. Then went to the auditorium to watch Happy Feet! I love that movie A LOT! 😊 After the movie we got into groups and went in stations around the 8th grade house. That whole thing was kind of boring…but oh well. After that was lunch, we ate outside in the back of the school! Then we went to the front of the school to DANCE! And of course, take pictures. <3 my hobby!

After the “8th Grade Celebration” we all went into the auditorium to watch the slideshow. EVERYONE started crying…surprisingly, I didn’t cry at all. I gave lots of people hugs. That was the last day of middle school. <3

Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember this day and how bittersweet it was. Some people were crying much more than others. The situation was, after this school year due to the school zones in our city, our class was being split in half basically by going to different high schools in the fall. I had friends going to my high school and had friends going to the other high school. It was sad because I knew it’d be more difficult for us to stay friends being in different schools, and different parts of the city. Some of my friends felt like our class was one big family and I felt that way too. I remember getting along with pretty much everyone that I had classes with. I made a lot of memories with the friends I had in middle school. During high school and after I’ve stated I’d go back to middle school again over any other time in my life. The days and times were just so much fun, and everyone had a good time! When I’d bring my digital camera to school, I’d get pictures with classmates that I’d never thought cared to be my friend, but they did! I made more friends with my creativity and openness. Wow, I’m missing that time.

Anyway! Thank you for reading my entries! The rest of this year and the following years will be my high school time and many different things will be happening!

June 3, 2007

June 3, 2007

Confirmation Sunday!!! Wow today was an awesome day!! I woke up this morning soooo nervous about the service. I curled my hair, got my dress on (a little scare with that, the zipper wasn’t working but we got it after the millionth try.) We got to church around 8 for pictures. But all we did until the group picture was hang out. So, it was alright. And I was getting less and less nervous as the minutes passed. When the service started, I was okay, almost excited. I read the gathering prayer and got confirmed! Had communion and then after the service I (and all the others from my confirmation class) went to stand outside of the sanctuary so everyone could say congrats and shake our hands. I said a LOT of thank you’s during that. I smiled a TON that morning. (Dad even came to church!)

After the service we headed home, got the food for the party, and headed up to the lake with Mrs. Willow and Cathy following mom and I. During the party we sat around, talked, ate, had the LOVELY cake, (with mine and Mrs. Willow’s pic on it!) and after a few families left the rest of us went on the boat! (Oh, I opened presents from everyone before we went on the boat) after the boat ride, me, Eddie, Meryl and Mrs. Willow’s daughter went to play catch in the street. HE was outside and I swear he was looking over at us! Hehe! IDK! We played catch for a while and then Mrs. Willow left. So, it was us 5 and Cathy. She hung out with us til around 8 and left. So, we’re staying at the lake on a school night. First time! Hopefully dad will wake me up at the right time.

<3 gooooood day!

Ava Estelle

Present day me: This was an awesome accomplishment day for me but also a really sad day at the same time in hindsight. A few weeks before the date I was to be confirmed at church I received a letter from my pastor. She was our teacher all school year. She spent every Wednesday with us at church, along with other numerous events and trips over the year. We had a lot of requirements to accomplish during that school year to be confirmed. This letter I received at school one morning from a girl who was also in my confirmation class. It was from our teacher/pastor and the message she wrote was she wasn’t going to be able to join us for our confirmation Sunday this year. There had been a note slipped into her mailbox at church with a death threat written on it. Everyone assumed it was from someone without our congregation. Because of this threat she decided to leave town before our confirmation Sunday. We didn’t know our last time we saw her was going to be our last time. Only one person from our class ended up staying at that church after this momentous day, fourteen of us shared. We experienced so much love, compassion, and friendship during our year learning about the church. I was legitimately ready to be an actual member with my own name tag within everyone else’s in the entryway. I remember always being excited for that since our first year there. Then weeks before the end, before celebration, is heartache and sadness. I will never ever forget this experience I had with getting confirmed in the Methodist church. I am shaking a little even writing this out because it was so emotional.

Another part of this entry is Mrs. Willow. She was a teacher of mine in middle school, then was my mentor during my confirmation year. I was so happy to learn she was a member of my church!! It was a really special relationship I had with her. It was strange going from being her student in class to being mentored by her and able to call her by her first name instead of Mrs. Willow. She is such a kind soul and I’m so grateful she was a part of my childhood.

Lastly, when I mention HE in this entry that isn’t God I’m referring to. It’s a boy who lived across the street from our cabin/lake house. I didn’t know his name at this time, but I knew he was a little older than me and looked cute! So, I was always hoping he’d come out and hang with us while we were playing catch in the street, right in front of his house. Every time we visited the cabin, sometimes I’d see him get off the bus with his brother! Other times I’d walk down the long driveway to “check the mail” and see if he was hanging in his yard. Hahaha oh the memories that come back while reading these entries! Thanks for taking the time to read this momentous moment of mine!!!!! 😊

March 24, 2007

March 24, 2007

Yesterday we got up, packed up all our stuff in the van and drove up hwy 1 in the late morning. My parents wanted to drive up that road and stop on the beaches and take pictures. So, we did. We made it into San Francisco and mom wanted to go to Golden Gate Park, so we drove around for like 3 hours… I don’t know. It was a day spent in the car. We stopped at a busy gas station. As dad was filling up the van a homeless lady came up to him and started complaining about tampons and she needed clothes. Then she said, “Can’t you say something?” and dad goes, “Well, I’m sorry.” She comes back with, “Bitch!” haha. He jumped back into the van pretty fast. It was in a really run-down neighborhood. So yeah. We just kind of drove around for like the whole afternoon. We ate dinner at chili’s and we tried to take our time to eat Our Last Meal in California. When we got into the van when we were done it was 8:30! We had like four hours until we needed to be at the airport. What was there to do? We just went to the airport extra early. The End!

<3 It’s good to be home!

Present day me: I have come to realize now, after reliving this trip through my entries, that almost everything my parents wanted to do with us, after my aunt and uncle had their time, we didn’t accomplish for one reason or another. One reason was, they didn’t properly research their locations to determine how to get there or what to expect while being there. I know we didn’t make it to Golden Gate Park because my dad couldn’t figure out how to get there. Which is pretty lame…. I feel that I have learned from those mistakes. Also, the internet is way more prevalent now than it was back in 2007, for two parents of three children. They’ve never been too keen on spending time online.

March 22, 2007

March 22, 2007

Yesterday us five got up, drove up hwy 1 to Muir Woods! It had more giant Redwoods! It was actually a pretty cool place. We got there and had lunch, then walked on the many trails for about three hours. Then dad wanted to drive through Berkeley College. We got lost finding Berkeley. But when we did find it, we had to pay to drive through campus. So, we didn’t see anything at Berkeley! Dad and mom were kind of disappointed but oh well. Then we were all hungry and mom and Eddie had to pee. So, we set off to find a restaurant with a bathroom! We found a bathroom, but the restaurant couldn’t accept credit cards. So…. we went to the grocery story to get dinner. It was a fun day!

So, what we did today! We got up and I asked dad what we were going to do today, he said we’re going to the Big Foot Museum in Felton – just outside of the city. That place didn’t open until 1 o’clock, so we went downtown to check out the stores. We went to Palace, the scrapbooking store. Where I went last time with Aunt Penny and got all the cool stationary stuff. And we looked at other stores. Oh yeah! I watched The Family Stone on tv. And Meryl, mom and me went on a walk down the beach before we went downtown. We drove to the museum, and it ended up being closed, so we just drove back to the house.

Ava Estelle

Present day me: The redwoods were amazing!!! I remember taking many pictures while there.

A few years prior to this time I had the opportunity to visit my Aunt Penny in California all by myself. I wasn’t too scared of flying alone because I had done it a few times with my family already at that age. When I was with only Aunt Penny, she and I did a ton of shopping and sightseeing. I only had a couple days with her for that trip, and I had a great time! I got so many cool scrapbooking, notebooks and writing things from that store – Palace. I dreamt about going back between the two visits I had to California as a kid. I hope I can visit again someday. I also remember how the beach was around the house we were staying at. There were sections that the ocean carved out underneath the land where the houses stood. I wanted to explore one, there were a few, while I was with Aunt Penny. But, by the time we walked back to the house for me to change into my swimming suit I changed my mind, and we did something else.

I am so grateful I wrote about this trip as it happened. Me today, would not have remembered all of this without my entries to remind me.