March 10, 2009
Today wasn’t very good. Beth is mad at Rhonda, Tabitha and me because she thinks Rhonda and I hate her. She had told Hannah that me and Rhonda were head of “the plan” to break up Kyle and Hannah, but that isn’t true. Beth and Samantha are the heads of that. I talked to Hannah about it and told her the truth. Yeah and Rhonda and I were in the conversation about “the plan” but we never had any ideas for it. Tabitha wrote in the notebook of hers and Beth’s asking her about it and why Beth lied. She said that she’s never said anything bad about us, and that she would be more devastated if she lost Tabitha as a friend than Rhonda. “She knows for a fact that Rhonda hates her, and I (Ava) just follow her along” is what Tabitha told me. And! Those texts I got from her on Saturday was basically her getting my side of the whole Hannah and Kyle thing and Beth is mad at us because we’ve excluded her from all our parties. And that we’ve (Rhonda and I) hated her ever since she joined spirit line. I have NO CLUE where she’s coming up with this stuff. She’s making a big deal out of absolutely nothing! And today and yesterday she’s ignored us. Yeah, so tomorrow morning I’m going to talk to her before school. I hope she actually talks and doesn’t avoid me. Oh, fyi everything is good with Hannah, just not Beth.
Present day me: more teenage drama brought up by insecurities and different perspectives.
March 7, 2009
Saturday at the cabin.
DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! I hate it. Wow. Something really complicated that I’ve gone over a million times in my head. I have to write it down because there is so much to this drama and so many possibilities and outcomes. So, Hannah and Kyle got back together, which nobody is happy about. But she obviously doesn’t care, because this is what she has wanted ever since they broke up. When they did break up, she was devastated, and that first weekend Rhonda, Hannah and I went to the Kalahari to celebrate Hannah’s 16th birthday. Us three talked a lot about Kyle and how him and her weren’t that great of a couple. We said that she wanted that relationship with him more than he did. So, we came to a conclusion that they were better off apart. Well, I thought we did. We also talked about sex, and she said that she wanted to have sex with him, well she had thought about it. But we said she can do better than that. All Kyle cares about is “getting some” and she wants a real relationship, along with “getting some.” So ever since then she’s still liked him and been trying desperately to get him back. And it just turned out that because she was trying so hard for that she put her flirting all the way to the top, that ditzy personality and she turns everything into sexual innuendo, and I mean EVERYTHING. Which can get slightly annoying after a while.
So, Rhonda and I have realized all this and aren’t happy with Kyle and Hannah going out again. We know what kind of guy she wants – someone who worships her and wears the pants in the relationship and treats her right. Kyle doesn’t do any of that. He doesn’t wear the pants; she puts more effort into it than him. These two have nothing in common, except their both dirty minded. That’s all they talk about. Anyway, through all this and her becoming desperate to have him back and getting back together the girls of our group have been thinking of a plan to break them up. Find another guy for her and another girl for him. Just got to find those two. But Rhonda and I (her two closest friends) have lost our respect for her, she sank down to the lowest to get him back when she knows he’s not worth it, but she is still attracted to him.
And Rhonda and I think she’s been taking us for granted because she thinks we’ll always be friends, but she drops us anytime, anywhere for Kyle. It’s gross. She’s done it in mid-sentence to Rhonda! Umm, I’ll write more later. Beth is texting me saying Rhonda and I have been ignoring her and she understands Hannah’s side of this. Yeah. I need to talk to Rhonda.
Present day me: reliving this entry isn’t very much fun. I find it somewhat nauseating I was that involved with another person’s relationship but we were teenagers and we were trying to protect our friend in a way.
March 1, 2009
This past weekend was alright. Friday night was Uganda Rock, it was kind of lame. The bands were okay, the music was too loud for their voices. I took Tabitha with me. And the whole time Hannah was with Kyle. They were dancing together and that made Rhonda and I kind of mad at her because she was still hanging on Kyle in front of Tommy, who likes her. So, there’s two guys liking her now. I guess Kyle and Hannah left together holding hands, and when Rhonda had to leave (half an hour early) her and I looked around for them but couldn’t find them in the cafeteria, so we go out to the commons and see them alone on the other side of the room by the doors. Rhonda wanted me to go over there with her but I didn’t want to so I told her to call me tomorrow. I didn’t want to go over there because I was mad at Hannah and I didn’t want to say something mean or give them evil looks, which I really would of done. So, what Rhonda told me on Saturday is when she left, Hannah tried to give her a hug, but she didn’t let her and glared at her and then Kyle tried to give her a hug and she told him, don’t touch me then she stormed out. So, I took Tabitha and Maddy home. Saturday, I bummed around at home, made banana bread and mom and I went to Shopko. I got some light blue flip flops.
Saturday night I had pep band at the ice center. Kyle and Hannah were there along with Samantha, Tabitha, Rhonda and others but those were the ones I talked to. Pretty much the whole time she was talking to Kyle. At one time I was sitting behind Kyle, and he leaned on my knees and like swayed back and forth. It was really weird. And Hannah seemed jealous that he was touching me and not her. Ridiculous. Anyway. During the first period Hannah and Tabitha were sitting in front of me and Rhonda so us two talked more about her. We never used names just he’s and she’s. I don’t know if she heard us or not. And I don’t really care, because she’s not going to do anything about it anyway. So, our school ended up losing the hockey game, which means we aren’t going to state. Everyone was really sad. Tabitha and I were pissed. But yeah, that’s my life at the moment. Oh! And I think Kyle and Hannah will go out again. I texted them both and it sounds like he likes her again which is good. I guess. Let’s just hope they don’t break up before Hawaii.
Present day me: Reliving this entry as an adult made me laugh. This is a funny memory for me, even though it was a dramatic time and Rhonda and I were TOO obsessed with talking about Hannah when she was going out with guys. At the end of the day, it was jealousy and we were sixteen year old’s.
January 4, 2009
Instead of swimming I read a book called Anatomy of a Boyfriend, all of it. It’s a good book, dirty but good. I want Rhonda to read it. It is also pretty funny. So yeah. I’m sitting in the balcony writing in here and listening to that dirty song – Give it Up by Pepper. Wow. Today is just a *potatoes* filled day for me. Haha. Mentally not physically. Reading about it and listening to it. Haha. Today has been a good day. It’s probably around 3ish pm, not really sure and the weather is pretty overcast so no hope in the getting tan department today. Dang. Oh well. I have the rest of the week yo! And at the moment I don’t miss anyone, yet. I know I will. But its good to be out of town and away from the cabin. And after reading this book, sorta makes me want a boyfriend more. Ugh! That’s like the only thing I desperately want right now. And I might just be desperate. At Ashley’s sledding party Brandon was there, I hadn’t of seen him since Andrea’s party and like I had a feeling when I first saw him… a like kind of awkward feeling at first around him. Ugh! I don’t want to like him like that at all. It would screw lots of things up. And like both of Brandon’s friends were there and picking on me. I accidentally kicked Brad where it really hurts when I came sliding into him. And I helped Grace hide Devin’s shoe…it was pretty funny. Anyway, I NEED to meet some new guys that I can get into. Yeah. I guess that’s all I have to write down for now. So, I guess I’ll go back down to the pool by Oma.
<3 Ava Estelle
Present day me: I was so eager to experience what all teenagers are curious about, being intimate with another person aka, sex. Hahaha. I also didn’t want to be interested in the guys in my class because I had a preference for guys who were older than me, from a year to a few years. No more than 3 years older than me at that point. So when there as a possibility that Brandon and I liked each other I didn’t want to/it.
September 27, 2008
Today we had a massive garage sale. Our family got a total of $394.97! Rhonda came over for the day, too. We walked around the neighborhood, talked about my freshman buddy, and lots of other things. We called Aaron but he was sleeping. So, then Rhonda left, and the sale was pretty much ending so I helped move some more stuff by the street. And we had a bonfire, we got pasta for dinner. And then guess who called me back: Aaron! Haha we only talked for 5 minutes – school, told him we sold our green, nasty chair that we had at the cabin. Spencer had come over to his house, so he had to go. So, I called Rhonda and we talked about getting Aaron to go to homecoming with us. He could bring Tori if he’d want. Yeah, then we got done talking. I went out by the fire, and we listened to the dirty/funny songs I have on my ipod. We did the cha cha slide and I texted with Tabitha and Tori. That’s about it.
<3 Ava Estelle
Present day me: I like this entry to share about a typical Saturday in 2008.