August 22, 2007

August 22, 2007

4:40am

OH MY GOSH I just woke up from the SCARIEST dream I’ve ever had. I had a dream about dad dying. He was on his business trip, and as he was driving home, he got hit by a purple semi. Woah. I was like really shocked. All else I can remember is us all, being shocked and kind of to ourselves about it. I even asked mom if we’re going to sell the cabin. She said, probably. After I woke up from the dream I laid in bed and cried for like 10 minutes.

 I rethought about the whole dream again and this is what I came up with. At the beginning of August, I had a dream about Oma dying (she got shot in the head, twice) so, when Oma and Opa both came up to the cabin a couple weeks ago we went out to eat. On our way back home, we turned onto a county highway and almost collided head on with a car that was on the wrong side of the road! My dad totally swerved into the shoulder and around this car! Who was sitting in the front seat? Oma.

Present day me: Having the time to read these entries and type them out to present to others has been a very cathartic and somewhat of a struggling experience. Having this entry be in my mind current day, it’s made me realize a giant foreshadowing of my life from these two dreams occurring within this month and year. In late September 2007 I lost a loved one that I was very close to. It wasn’t someone mentioned in this entry, but it was someone in connection with my dad. She and I had special time together during her lifetime. I learned important life skills. She taught me how to knit, sew, bake cookies and just be calm at home. Staying with her, without my siblings, helped me find that calm within myself. I didn’t need to leave the house to have fun. I learned that from these experiences.

Losing her right as I was beginning high school made it a time where my grief wasn’t really expressed. I ended up dealing with it in short amounts as time went on. These dreams gave me a clue into what was about to happen. Reading this entry today, many years after this loss, makes me realize this.