April 19, 2009
I have a ton to write!
Last Thursday Andrea told me about something Hannah had said in Hawaii to Rhonda, about me. Rhonda had told Andrea, who told Bridget, who told Samantha. So, in biology Andrea and Samantha told me what she said. Rhonda and her had been talking about me and Brandon and how we’d be cute together and Hannah said, “Well, Ava has a nice smile and beautiful eyes and just a pretty face but I don’t think Brandon would go out with her because she doesn’t have a body as perfect as mine.” Yeah. So, I’m pissed off at her. After all that I’ve done for her, staying a true friend through everything. She just says that and yeah. I’m done with defending her and being her “best” friend. I knew she was superficial and selfish, but I didn’t think it was this bad. So, Rhonda is as pissed off about this as I am. Rhonda wanted to slap her when she said that. So, her and I and pretty much everyone else is going to ignore her tomorrow. Which will be interesting. Friday came and went. Hannah wasn’t at school so I recruited people for my plan to ignore her, which worked good. I had to work for three hours. It was a long three hours. But I made it through…. Saturday was the band thrift sale. I picked up Rhonda and we hung out there for about an hour with Abby, Brandon and Craig. It was okay. I talked to Brandon about maybe hanging out that night. But he ended up having to stay home and do homework.
Rhonda and I went out to eat at Culver’s for lunch and we sat at the high school and talked until her mom came to pick her up. Since I had a car and some money, I did some shopping. I got page protectors for my summer scrapbook. Which is so awesome! And came home and chilled until about 7 o’clock. I called Rhonda and Brandon and decided to go up to Rhonda’s neighborhood to hang out with Rhonda and Brad and Devin. We walked over to the guys’ house and played Rock Band! I got to sing, it was fun. Devin and Brad were invited over to Garrett’s, so I gave them a ride with Rhonda. We hung out there for a bit and then I had to take Rhonda home but I had to go back to Garrett’s to get my phone. I ended up hanging out there for a couple hours with Harry, Timmy, Garrett, Devin and Brad. It was fun being the only girl. 😊 we had a ”talking circle” instead of the guys’ usual pow wow. I took Devin and Brad home and then came home. It was a fun night!
Today I went to self defense class with Grace and Maddy. That was fun too. And my hand hurts to more later!
WORK FOR 5 FRICKEN HOURS TOMORROW! UGH!!!
WORK SUCKS. LIFE IS ALRIGHT. Hopefully going to hang out with Brandon soon?
<3 Ava Estelle 😊
Present day me: I wish I wasn’t such a “mean girl” when I learned about what Hannah said about me. I think because so many other girls already knew before me and I was told by two girls who weren’t even hanging out with us in Hawaii, it made it more intense to react the way I did. I’m not proud of that choice. Ladies, especially in high school: communicate with your friends! If you find something out that you aren’t happy about TALK to your friend and get things straightened out!
April 8, 2009
So last night I talked to Devin about Ferrari. He asked me if Brandon has talked to me yet. I said not yet…why? Devin said because Brandon just wants to talk to me about it instead of having Devin or anyone else in the middle. So, hearing this I get excited. I’m like so, do you think he likes me? He said, “I think he might, he’s just thinking about it and going to talk to you about it.” So, I went to bed last night thinking that he’ll be talking to me today. He didn’t. And he wasn’t online tonight either. I’m getting frustrated and almost like un-hopeful. I know I’m just over thinking it and overreacting. He’ll talk to me when he’s ready and it’ll hopefully be good. Man, if he says he doesn’t want to go out with me yeah, I’ll be crushed but I hope it won’t be awkward between us….? Who knows. Maybe we’ll go to the mall tomorrow night and hang out. I hope so. It’d be a lot of fun to hang out with him. I guess that’s it for now. I’ll go to bed. G’night.
<3 Ava Estelle
Present day me: I feel like Brandon really took his time with communicating how he felt about me. I remember asking his friends all the time about him because they all had cell phones and Brandon didn’t! I could only talk to him on AIM or call his home phone.
April 1, 2009
April Fools Day!
Today was an okay day. Tabitha and I took all of Rhonda’s stuff out of her locker and put it in Tabitha’s. But Tabitha blew it after 6th hour. Oh well. After school I went to the mall with Delia. It was good. I got applications and we talked a lot about everyone in our group. She found out that I like Brandon and I found out that she still kind of likes Devin. So, we’re both going to talk to them and ask what they think of us. Hopefully it’ll go well. And we made a pact that if for prom no guys asks us out then we’ll ask them. It’s kind of a given everyone needs a date for prom. Maybe Brandon will be mine? Hehe. Who knows. So yeah, that was my day pretty much. Oh! And I’m going to have a party on April 17th!
<3 Ava Estelle <3
Present day me: I don’t remember this day in particular reading it as an adult. I do remember deciding on a date for prom. It didn’t end up being Brandon, unfortunately.
March 27, 2009
Ate at Famous Dave’s with Rhonda, Delia, Stacey, Ashley, Devin, Beth, Abby, Bridget, Carson, Brandon (sat across from me), Craig, Brad, Harry and Katie. It was a lot of fun. Brandon and I had thumb wars and Rhonda and I talked about him as “Ferrari.” Then it took him, Rhonda an Hannah to the school. We listened to the Vagina Song (by the Bloodhound Gang) and the bad touch. Brandon ended up paying for me because I only had a $20. And I dance with him, Harry, Hannah and everyone else. The music wasn’t very good but I had fun. I just felt like Brandon really likes me just a little bit more than the other girls. Sadly, Gwen was dancing with him the whole time, I told him about it while we were getting a drink and he had noticed, then after the dance him and I were walking to my car and he brought it up again almost saying like he wanted to dance with just me more and not her. Hehehe! So overall it was a good time with Ferrari, but I’m not sure how this is all going to turn out. We’ll just have to wait and see.
<3 Ava Estelle 😊
Present day me: I remember being so frustrated that Gwen was hogging Brandon during the dance and I didn’t have the confidence to just dance with him. Oh well, it’s a funny memory to look back on now. Morp was also the dance that was the anti-prom so we all wore random weird clothing and not dresses.
March 18, 2009 & March 19, 2009
Tabitha and I woke up at 6:00 am to go snorkeling, AND I wore a tampon for the first time! Snorkeling was a lot of fun! I hung out with Tabitha, Abby, Brandon, Brad, Craig and Devin. While we were in the water we saw turtles, eels, many fish and we saw dolphins swimming all over and jumping around. Sadly, I didn’t have my camera with me. After that we walked back to the hotel and got ready for the hike up to Diamondhead. Tabitha and I just booked it all the way to the top, took pictures and then walked down. It wasn’t that bad of a hike and the view was SO AWESOME!! We got to the bottom and rested with everyone else, drank water and just chilled out. Then we came back to the hotel and had free time until 4. We went to the beach and I got a smiley face on my tummy, it looks really cool! (with sunscreen and burnt skin) And we did some shopping. I finished buying stuff for everyone and then we went back to the hotel to get ready for the Beach BBQ. Both the guys and girls learned how to hula – pretty funny. And we just had a fun, relaxing last night. We all took pictures on the beach and then the four of us, (Tabitha, Rhonda, Hannah and me) went shopping. We stopped at the hotel to pick up Hannah and get our money first. It was a good night to spend with them. Brandon and I talked a lot and we had fun together while Rhonda was on the Diamondhead hike with Delia and Bridget. They talked about me liking Brandon. They said that they’ve noticed but they’re not mad, just told Rhonda that I shouldn’t get my hopes up because he’s all over too many girls. I know that. But they also said that he has actual feelings for more than one girl at a time. So that makes a ton of sense. I think I just have a crush on him and because I know who he is and his past and present I’m not going to go out with him because it’d be weird and I would probably turn into a really jealous girlfriend. So we went shopping in the marketplace and during that we met up with the rest of our group. Brandon hung out with them and the four of us spend some time together. Hannah and Rhonda got henna tattoos so during that Tabitha and I were sitting out on a bench and two guys come up to us and asked us to make out with them and to do drugs basically. It freaked both me and Tabitha out. So we went in and told the other two about it and then called the guys to see where they were, but they weren’t by us. So, we darted back to the hotel and invited the guys to our room to play cards. By the time the guys got here it was almost 11 so we just talked. I was laying on my bed with my hands on my sunburnt stomach and then Brandon was sitting on the bed, but then Hannah and Devin who were also on the bed got off so Brandon and I were the only ones there laying together. Except he was at the end parallel to the pillows and I was perpendicular to the pillows. Rhonda was looking at both of us and giving me a big smile. After the guys left Rhonda shouts, “Your head was right next to his dick!” it was so funny.
Thursday March 19, 2009
The four of us ate at iHop for breakfast! And we’ve been packing all morning. We sat on the beach for a while (just the girls) until the guys came and then us three went to starbucks and went back to the hotel to finish packing and leave.
Present day me: I wish I could relive these experiences again within my lifetime.
March 16, 2009 (2)
Polynesian Cultural Center
We went there today. It was pretty fun. We had an hour bus ride there and back. On the way there I sat by Samantha with Hannah and Kyle in front of us. It was weird and pretty much pointless. Kyle is such an asshole. So, when we arrived to this place we met up with the rest of our friends and at first had all eleven-ish of us together but we needed to split up into smaller groups so me, Rhonda and Tabitha did and also Brandon stayed with us. Is it a sign with that? Maybe… so we walked around the whole park all day. We really didn’t know what we were doing. But it was fun. We went fishing with bamboo sticks, got temporary tattoos on ourselves, saw a really hot guy carving wood and just walked around. Oh! And we went to an iMax show. After all that we got in line for the luau. Guess who sat at our table…Brandon! Hehe. But I think he missed everyone else. We had a good food – purple potatoes! Haha. Brandon and I had thumb wars. I won 😊 and there was a waiter there that looked just like an older version of Rhonda’s brother. And every time he walked by our table, he was staring at me. Creepy. But Rhonda and Tabitha got a picture with him.
After the luau we had a little bit of time to chill out until we had to go to the Horizons show. Guess who partnered up with me and we tried to find a spot to put his pineapple to take a picture – Brandon! So, we did that and us girls got a picture of us touching his pineapple. Then we had to go to the Horizons show and I almost fell asleep there. But it was a good show. On the bus ride back, I just zoned out and listened to my ipod.
Present day me: Brandon had an actual pineapple with him, it was not an innuendo. This was a really fun day with my high school friends!
March 16, 2009
Day 3 in Hawaii!
Saturday night we arrived in Hawaii around 5:30pm. It’s 5 hours earlier here than Wisconsin, so we had a 23 hour day on Saturday. We got to the hotel (crappy compared to Mexico) and unpacked, before we could get into our room, which is #869! We had to go down to the lobby twice! Because our keys weren’t working. But we made it in, unpacked and went out for dinner. We were all starving and just wanted something light and easy, so we ate at subway! Haha. Right before we entered subway we saw the guys, (Brandon, Craig, Devin and Brad) and we ate with them. The guys left for the hotel earlier than us, so we had some creepy Hawaiian guys make creepy remarks to us. We made it back to the hotel and finished unpacking. Talked a whole bunch about Beth and Nate (she’s ignoring him) Hannah and Kyle (he was kind of ignoring her) AND I told them that I like Brandon. And I think he likes me too. While we were in the San Franscisco airport Brandon was sitting next to me with a notebook and he drew me as wonder woman! Haha. He didn’t draw anyone else and then when we met the guys at subway it seemed like Brandon just saw me and he decided that he wants to hang out with us to eat. All three of them were happy when I told them that I like him. My feelings for him aren’t strong, yet. But that could change.
So yesterday we woke up and got ready to go on the Best of Oahu Half-Day Tour. We were on our original 3 buses taking a tour and seeing/stopping to take pictures at Diamond Head Crater from the outside – Kahala – Hawaii Kai – Hanauma Bay – Halona Blow Hole – Famous Beach called Sandy’s – Makapuu Point – Waimanalo – Pali Lookout. I got some good pictures with everyone and some good scenery shots. We got finished up with that around 11:30. And we had the rest of the day of free time! So, we went to the beach! We all changed into our suits and walked down there with our big group of friends. We went swimming and tanned. It was amazing to be in the ocean with my friends instead of my family. Brandon, Tabitha, Rhonda and I swam way out to a sandbar over a ton of rough rocks which I hit my leg on coming back. I kind of tried to swim by Brandon most of the time. 😊 and on the way back I complained to him how my leg hurt, and he picked me up and carried me through the water. Rhonda and Tabitha saw, and Rhonda made a face. But he ended up dropping me and I got water up my nose. After we went swimming and tanning for a while we were starving because we had no food that whole day. So, us four, and six other girls all walked down to a restaurant called Cheeseburger in Paradise. It was really good. After that Hannah, me, Beth and Abby walked on the beach and took some pictures and then we had the Waikiki scavenger hunt. I was in a group with Brandon (cool!), Erin, Abby and a girl from gym class. The whole thing was pretty lame I talked mostly with Abby and Brandon. And by the time that was over, I was totally out of it. I desperately needed sleep. So, Tabitha ended up finishing first out of the four of us so I had to let her into our room when I got back and we ended up talking about a bunch of stuff. I was glad that I got to hang out with Brandon but It wasn’t like a total flirting session. We were just buddy-buddy because I was so exhausted. So yeah.
Present day me: this is fun reading about a band trip to Hawaii that I have lots of good memories of.
March 10, 2009
Today wasn’t very good. Beth is mad at Rhonda, Tabitha and me because she thinks Rhonda and I hate her. She had told Hannah that me and Rhonda were head of “the plan” to break up Kyle and Hannah, but that isn’t true. Beth and Samantha are the heads of that. I talked to Hannah about it and told her the truth. Yeah and Rhonda and I were in the conversation about “the plan” but we never had any ideas for it. Tabitha wrote in the notebook of hers and Beth’s asking her about it and why Beth lied. She said that she’s never said anything bad about us, and that she would be more devastated if she lost Tabitha as a friend than Rhonda. “She knows for a fact that Rhonda hates her, and I (Ava) just follow her along” is what Tabitha told me. And! Those texts I got from her on Saturday was basically her getting my side of the whole Hannah and Kyle thing and Beth is mad at us because we’ve excluded her from all our parties. And that we’ve (Rhonda and I) hated her ever since she joined spirit line. I have NO CLUE where she’s coming up with this stuff. She’s making a big deal out of absolutely nothing! And today and yesterday she’s ignored us. Yeah, so tomorrow morning I’m going to talk to her before school. I hope she actually talks and doesn’t avoid me. Oh, fyi everything is good with Hannah, just not Beth.
Present day me: more teenage drama brought up by insecurities and different perspectives.
March 7, 2009
Saturday at the cabin.
DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! I hate it. Wow. Something really complicated that I’ve gone over a million times in my head. I have to write it down because there is so much to this drama and so many possibilities and outcomes. So, Hannah and Kyle got back together, which nobody is happy about. But she obviously doesn’t care, because this is what she has wanted ever since they broke up. When they did break up, she was devastated, and that first weekend Rhonda, Hannah and I went to the Kalahari to celebrate Hannah’s 16th birthday. Us three talked a lot about Kyle and how him and her weren’t that great of a couple. We said that she wanted that relationship with him more than he did. So, we came to a conclusion that they were better off apart. Well, I thought we did. We also talked about sex, and she said that she wanted to have sex with him, well she had thought about it. But we said she can do better than that. All Kyle cares about is “getting some” and she wants a real relationship, along with “getting some.” So ever since then she’s still liked him and been trying desperately to get him back. And it just turned out that because she was trying so hard for that she put her flirting all the way to the top, that ditzy personality and she turns everything into sexual innuendo, and I mean EVERYTHING. Which can get slightly annoying after a while.
So, Rhonda and I have realized all this and aren’t happy with Kyle and Hannah going out again. We know what kind of guy she wants – someone who worships her and wears the pants in the relationship and treats her right. Kyle doesn’t do any of that. He doesn’t wear the pants; she puts more effort into it than him. These two have nothing in common, except their both dirty minded. That’s all they talk about. Anyway, through all this and her becoming desperate to have him back and getting back together the girls of our group have been thinking of a plan to break them up. Find another guy for her and another girl for him. Just got to find those two. But Rhonda and I (her two closest friends) have lost our respect for her, she sank down to the lowest to get him back when she knows he’s not worth it, but she is still attracted to him.
And Rhonda and I think she’s been taking us for granted because she thinks we’ll always be friends, but she drops us anytime, anywhere for Kyle. It’s gross. She’s done it in mid-sentence to Rhonda! Umm, I’ll write more later. Beth is texting me saying Rhonda and I have been ignoring her and she understands Hannah’s side of this. Yeah. I need to talk to Rhonda.
Present day me: reliving this entry isn’t very much fun. I find it somewhat nauseating I was that involved with another person’s relationship but we were teenagers and we were trying to protect our friend in a way.
March 2, 2009
We had the parent-student meeting tonight for Hawaii. I’m so fricken excited right now!!!!! It will be absolutely amazing! I’m in a group with Tabitha and….Courtney. But oh well. Everyday sounds like it will be SO much fun! I almost want to copy down the itinerary just to read it again. Haha, that’d be overdoing it though. And it turns out Hannah is wearing tankini’s as am I and Rhonda is wearing bikinis. But it will be so much fun! More fun than ALL of the Mexico trips combined, except Mazatlan. That was the best one! Anyway, way too excited to sleep!! 😊
But I’ve gotta try.
<3 Ava Estelle
12 fricken days!!!!!
Present day me: This was the first and only trip outside of Wisconsin that I had to opportunity to enjoy will ALL of my friends at the time. It was really an amazing time!