March 16, 2009

March 16, 2009

Day 3 in Hawaii!

Saturday night we arrived in Hawaii around 5:30pm. It’s 5 hours earlier here than Wisconsin, so we had a 23 hour day on Saturday. We got to the hotel (crappy compared to Mexico) and unpacked, before we could get into our room, which is #869! We had to go down to the lobby twice! Because our keys weren’t working. But we made it in, unpacked and went out for dinner. We were all starving and just wanted something light and easy, so we ate at subway! Haha. Right before we entered subway we saw the guys, (Brandon, Craig, Devin and Brad) and we ate with them. The guys left for the hotel earlier than us, so we had some creepy Hawaiian guys make creepy remarks to us. We made it back to the hotel and finished unpacking. Talked a whole bunch about Beth and Nate (she’s ignoring him) Hannah and Kyle (he was kind of ignoring her) AND I told them that I like Brandon. And I think he likes me too. While we were in the San Franscisco airport Brandon was sitting next to me with a notebook and he drew me as wonder woman! Haha. He didn’t draw anyone else and then when we met the guys at subway it seemed like Brandon just saw me and he decided that he wants to hang out with us to eat. All three of them were happy when I told them that I like him. My feelings for him aren’t strong, yet. But that could change.

So yesterday we woke up and got ready to go on the Best of Oahu Half-Day Tour. We were on our original 3 buses taking a tour and seeing/stopping to take pictures at Diamond Head Crater from the outside – Kahala – Hawaii Kai – Hanauma Bay – Halona Blow Hole – Famous Beach called Sandy’s – Makapuu Point – Waimanalo – Pali Lookout. I got some good pictures with everyone and some good scenery shots. We got finished up with that around 11:30. And we had the rest of the day of free time! So, we went to the beach! We all changed into our suits and walked down there with our big group of friends. We went swimming and tanned. It was amazing to be in the ocean with my friends instead of my family. Brandon, Tabitha, Rhonda and I swam way out to a sandbar over a ton of rough rocks which I hit my leg on coming back. I kind of tried to swim by Brandon most of the time. 😊 and on the way back I complained to him how my leg hurt, and he picked me up and carried me through the water. Rhonda and Tabitha saw, and Rhonda made a face. But he ended up dropping me and I got water up my nose. After we went swimming and tanning for a while we were starving because we had no food that whole day. So, us four, and six other girls all walked down to a restaurant called Cheeseburger in Paradise. It was really good. After that Hannah, me, Beth and Abby walked on the beach and took some pictures and then we had the Waikiki scavenger hunt. I was in a group with Brandon (cool!), Erin, Abby and a girl from gym class. The whole thing was pretty lame I talked mostly with Abby and Brandon. And by the time that was over, I was totally out of it. I desperately needed sleep. So, Tabitha ended up finishing first out of the four of us so I had to let her into our room when I got back and we ended up talking about a bunch of stuff. I was glad that I got to hang out with Brandon but It wasn’t like a total flirting session. We were just buddy-buddy because I was so exhausted. So yeah.

Present day me: this is fun reading about a band trip to Hawaii that I have lots of good memories of.

March 10, 2009

March 10, 2009

Today wasn’t very good. Beth is mad at Rhonda, Tabitha and me because she thinks Rhonda and I hate her. She had told Hannah that me and Rhonda were head of “the plan” to break up Kyle and Hannah, but that isn’t true. Beth and Samantha are the heads of that. I talked to Hannah about it and told her the truth. Yeah and Rhonda and I were in the conversation about “the plan” but we never had any ideas for it. Tabitha wrote in the notebook of hers and Beth’s asking her about it and why Beth lied. She said that she’s never said anything bad about us, and that she would be more devastated if she lost Tabitha as a friend than Rhonda. “She knows for a fact that Rhonda hates her, and I (Ava) just follow her along” is what Tabitha told me. And! Those texts I got from her on Saturday was basically her getting my side of the whole Hannah and Kyle thing and Beth is mad at us because we’ve excluded her from all our parties. And that we’ve (Rhonda and I) hated her ever since she joined spirit line. I have NO CLUE where she’s coming up with this stuff. She’s making a big deal out of absolutely nothing! And today and yesterday she’s ignored us. Yeah, so tomorrow morning I’m going to talk to her before school. I hope she actually talks and doesn’t avoid me. Oh, fyi everything is good with Hannah, just not Beth.

<3 Ava

Present day me: more teenage drama brought up by insecurities and different perspectives.

March 7, 2009

March 7, 2009

Saturday at the cabin.

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! I hate it. Wow. Something really complicated that I’ve gone over a million times in my head. I have to write it down because there is so much to this drama and so many possibilities and outcomes. So, Hannah and Kyle got back together, which nobody is happy about. But she obviously doesn’t care, because this is what she has wanted ever since they broke up. When they did break up, she was devastated, and that first weekend Rhonda, Hannah and I went to the Kalahari to celebrate Hannah’s 16th birthday. Us three talked a lot about Kyle and how him and her weren’t that great of a couple. We said that she wanted that relationship with him more than he did. So, we came to a conclusion that they were better off apart. Well, I thought we did. We also talked about sex, and she said that she wanted to have sex with him, well she had thought about it. But we said she can do better than that. All Kyle cares about is “getting some” and she wants a real relationship, along with “getting some.” So ever since then she’s still liked him and been trying desperately to get him back. And it just turned out that because she was trying so hard for that she put her flirting all the way to the top, that ditzy personality and she turns everything into sexual innuendo, and I mean EVERYTHING. Which can get slightly annoying after a while.

So, Rhonda and I have realized all this and aren’t happy with Kyle and Hannah going out again. We know what kind of guy she wants – someone who worships her and wears the pants in the relationship and treats her right. Kyle doesn’t do any of that. He doesn’t wear the pants; she puts more effort into it than him. These two have nothing in common, except their both dirty minded. That’s all they talk about. Anyway, through all this and her becoming desperate to have him back and getting back together the girls of our group have been thinking of a plan to break them up. Find another guy for her and another girl for him. Just got to find those two. But Rhonda and I (her two closest friends) have lost our respect for her, she sank down to the lowest to get him back when she knows he’s not worth it, but she is still attracted to him.

And Rhonda and I think she’s been taking us for granted because she thinks we’ll always be friends, but she drops us anytime, anywhere for Kyle. It’s gross. She’s done it in mid-sentence to Rhonda! Umm, I’ll write more later. Beth is texting me saying Rhonda and I have been ignoring her and she understands Hannah’s side of this. Yeah. I need to talk to Rhonda.

Present day me: reliving this entry isn’t very much fun. I find it somewhat nauseating I was that involved with another person’s relationship but we were teenagers and we were trying to protect our friend in a way.

March 2, 2009

March 2, 2009

Monday

12 DAYS!!!!!

We had the parent-student meeting tonight for Hawaii. I’m so fricken excited right now!!!!! It will be absolutely amazing! I’m in a group with Tabitha and….Courtney. But oh well. Everyday sounds like it will be SO much fun! I almost want to copy down the itinerary just to read it again. Haha, that’d be overdoing it though. And it turns out Hannah is wearing tankini’s as am I and Rhonda is wearing bikinis. But it will be so much fun! More fun than ALL of the Mexico trips combined, except Mazatlan. That was the best one! Anyway, way too excited to sleep!! 😊

But I’ve gotta try.

G’night!

<3 Ava Estelle

12 fricken days!!!!!

Present day me: This was the first and only trip outside of Wisconsin that I had to opportunity to enjoy will ALL of my friends at the time. It was really an amazing time!

March 1, 2009

March 1, 2009

Sunday

This past weekend was alright. Friday night was Uganda Rock, it was kind of lame. The bands were okay, the music was too loud for their voices. I took Tabitha with me. And the whole time Hannah was with Kyle. They were dancing together and that made Rhonda and I kind of mad at her because she was still hanging on Kyle in front of Tommy, who likes her. So, there’s two guys liking her now. I guess Kyle and Hannah left together holding hands, and when Rhonda had to leave (half an hour early) her and I looked around for them but couldn’t find them in the cafeteria, so we go out to the commons and see them alone on the other side of the room by the doors. Rhonda wanted me to go over there with her but I didn’t want to so I told her to call me tomorrow. I didn’t want to go over there because I was mad at Hannah and I didn’t want to say something mean or give them evil looks, which I really would of done. So, what Rhonda told me on Saturday is when she left, Hannah tried to give her a hug, but she didn’t let her and glared at her and then Kyle tried to give her a hug and she told him, don’t touch me then she stormed out. So, I took Tabitha and Maddy home. Saturday, I bummed around at home, made banana bread and mom and I went to Shopko. I got some light blue flip flops.

Saturday night I had pep band at the ice center. Kyle and Hannah were there along with Samantha, Tabitha, Rhonda and others but those were the ones I talked to. Pretty much the whole time she was talking to Kyle. At one time I was sitting behind Kyle, and he leaned on my knees and like swayed back and forth. It was really weird. And Hannah seemed jealous that he was touching me and not her. Ridiculous. Anyway. During the first period Hannah and Tabitha were sitting in front of me and Rhonda so us two talked more about her. We never used names just he’s and she’s. I don’t know if she heard us or not. And I don’t really care, because she’s not going to do anything about it anyway. So, our school ended up losing the hockey game, which means we aren’t going to state. Everyone was really sad. Tabitha and I were pissed. But yeah, that’s my life at the moment. Oh! And I think Kyle and Hannah will go out again. I texted them both and it sounds like he likes her again which is good. I guess. Let’s just hope they don’t break up before Hawaii.

<3 Ava

Present day me: Reliving this entry as an adult made me laugh. This is a funny memory for me, even though it was a dramatic time and Rhonda and I were TOO obsessed with talking about Hannah when she was going out with guys. At the end of the day, it was jealousy and we were sixteen year old’s.

February 23, 2009

February 23, 2009

Monday

This morning when mom was taking me to school, we were driving down the curved road and a van came the opposite way around the curve and slid across the street and hit the telephone pole. Mom and I saw it happen. We drove past him, and I saw that his air bag opened, and he was okay. Mom stopped to help him, and another guy stopped and called the police. They came, and mom took me to school. Then after third hour I heard from Samantha that Erin had been in a crash last night. She slid into a ditch and hit a tree. She had bled all over her seat from her head, which is stapled up now. She wasn’t at school today, so I was texting with her during gym. I just feel really bad for Erin and this guy from this morning. Otherwise, this past weekend was alright. Rhonda and I went to see Fired up! On Friday. It was really funny. Saturday, I went shopping with mom and Meryl. I got two new tank tops and a swimsuit bottom for Hawaii! Which is less than 3 weeks away! I’m SO EXCITED!!! Sunday we went to church. And I worked on my homework. Now I should write a letter to Aunt Brenda asking her for money for Hawaii.

Gnight!

<3 Ava Estelle 😊

Present day me: I remember being absolutely stoked that I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii with my school’s band with ALL of my friends! I miss having all of these friends as an adult.

February 16, 2009

February 16, 2009

Monday

This past weekend was alright. Saturday was the fishery. Us girls went into town and “shopped.” We got ice cream and went to a few really lame stores. Everywhere in town is kind of gross. We had a big turkey dinner that night with amazing stuffing! Eddie, Meryl and I took a video of us talking like Darth Vader. It’s really funny! Sunday we all got up, hung out. They left about lunch time. Meryl and I drove home. I cleaned and unpacked because Hannah and Rhonda were coming over for the night. They both got dropped off. Hannah and I had gone to rent movies. We hung out, talked to David on the phone. Rhonda and he got into a fight. He and I were texting, and he wanted to know what Hannah thought of him. He likes her. Ugh! Another creeper. Anyway. We made chocolate cake. And then at like 10:30 Harry and Brad show up. We sat in the kitchen talking with them until like 12:15am! Then we sat in Harry’s car for a bit. It was one of the dirtiest conversations ever! But so funny! We went to bed at like 3am.

Today we woke up at 8! Way too early. We had more cake for breakfast, and we found a candy bouquet at the front door. Rhonda left at like 10:30. I took Hannah home. Came back, cleaned, got ready, then she came back over, and we got gas and went to the mall! Tried on crazy awesome clothes. And then came back here. I had a doctor’s appointment. And I got the meningococcal meningitis shot. And I came back home, finished watching My Best Friend’s Girl – good movie – and I took Hannah home again. Yep, good last 24 hours!

<3 Ava Estelle

Present day me: This entry makes me remember all the things I’d do with my friends. Go to the mall, have guy friends stop by to chat, surprisingly until late at night. The town I was referring to in this entry is the town nearest to the cabin my family had at the time.

February 12, 2009

February 12, 2009

Thursday

 Today was a pretty good day at school. We had a potluck lunch! I brought white cheddar pasta roni, Delia brought mac and cheese, Beth brought ramen noodles, we had bread, blueberry muffins, Nutella with rolls, cupcakes and cookies. So good! And we had a Spanish test, which I think I did really good on! Yesterday Bailey and I finally went to Sonic! We got large slushies and large tater tots. She drove and we didn’t go over the curb when we went through the drive thru. Which was a victory! It was her first time going through a drive thru. She did good. Oh! And David has been texting me lately, which is fine. I still want to be friends with him. I gave him Hannah’s number because he asked for it. So, he texted her last night too. I guess he thinks she’s really cute and well who (out of all guys) doesn’t? anyway, I’m glad me and him are friends. I kind of feel like I want to hang out with him again…. maybe. But I don’t know where and when and with who exactly. Who knows… the night before last night Rhonda had a really funny dream about her and Cameron and then me and Nathan. We were in a contest to not touch each other for three hours and we had to stand a foot away from each other and the prize was a night at the  hotel. Nathan and I couldn’t handle not touching each other for three hours so we went away. So, Rhonda and Cameron won. Hannah comes in holding a cat in her arms. Nathan and I come back and told everyone Nathan bought the hotel. Let’s go party there! Hannah said, I want to come! I told her it was couples only. She holds up the cat and said, I have a boyfriend! Meet Ginger! SO FUNNY! Rhonda had another dream that Nelly got pregnant, so she told Rhonda and her first words were, “CAKE AND ICE CREAM!” hahaha yeah. I’ve laughed with Rhonda SO MUCH these past two days. We talked about “pickle” juice today. Pretty great thing to talk about. Haha. G’night!

<3 Ava Estelle

Present day me: This entry is basically a collection of inside jokes and good memories. This was right before I would get my first job and things changed a lot.

February 8, 2009

February 8, 2009

Today I made, well decorated this new journal of mine! I like it for now. I’ll probably change it later. So today we came home from the cabin. It was uneventful up there. Eddie and I went on the atvs, I finished reading Breaking Dawn last night. I insanely love the twilight saga! I could read those books over and over again. But anyway, I am in pretty much desperate need of a boyfriend. Like I feel like I’m going crazy without one. I want to have my first kiss, I want to cuddle with someone, flirt with them. Spend a lot of my time with him. But I have no one. Not even close to a guy I could like or go out with. Ugh! And lately I’ve been having dreams about “potatoes” and I feel like I want that. Well, not all the way. Just the stuff that leads up to it. I want a guy I can hold hands with down the hall, who I can make fun of and he’d do the same but it’d be a way of flirting. And those lovey dovey moments when we just give each other compliments and stare into each other’s eyes. See? I know a lot about relationships, and I’ve only been in one! But I don’t know if that could really count as a real relationship. Oh well, I guess I’ll just keep praying. If I could have a guy to like me for me, and maybe be going to Hawaii with the band that’d be so amazing! Haha. Well, I guess I better be going to sleep so I can fantasize and dream about potatoes with that cute guy. *wink wink*

<3 Ava Estelle

Present day me: “Potatoes” is code word for sex. My only relationship at that point was on the phone and through aol instant messenger, so I was ready to have someone I could go out with who lived in the same town as me.

February 7, 2009

February 7, 2009

Saturday

This past week was a really long one and lots of things happened. On Wednesday night Hannah called me and I told her all about how many girls who I hang out with don’t like her anymore. They all think she’s a slut. So, I wanted to tell her the reality of the situation. While she’s sitting at lunch with Tommy and Derrick and other nasty guys, everyone at our table is dissing her and calling her names. Anyway, I tried to tell her about it as nicely as possible. What Rhonda had found out – pretty much everyone that we had hung out with at the dance doesn’t like her. So, it wasn’t looking good for Hannah on our end. But when I told Hannah everything she listened and understood. She said she wasn’t/isn’t very close with these girls. She had met them just this school year, which is totally true. And that doesn’t really matter to Hannah what other people think, just as long as she has a good relationship with each, Tabitha, Rhonda and me. Which is good. But while this little stressor was going on for Rhonda and I and Hannah something else happened.

While (one day) Beth and Hannah were working out at the Y together, Beth had asked her how far she’s gone with a guy. Hannah told her some things had happened up at Jared’s cabin between her and Jared. Tabitha and I were the only ones who knew about that. But Beth went up to Jared and asked him about it and he said nothing had happened at all. He lied. Hannah would not make up those things just for attention or the hell of it. She didn’t want to tell Rhonda because she didn’t want to see/know Rhonda’s reaction to it. But Beth talked to me and Tabitha about it during lunch one day with Rhonda right there. My only thought was how the hell did Beth find out about that?! So, Rhonda figured it out and was really disappointed and hurt that Hannah didn’t tell her something that important. And the fact Beth knew before her pissed her off a lot.

So, Rhonda finding all that out changed the way she looked at Hannah. I told Hannah that Rhonda had found out about it and was really hurt and mad. So, Wednesday night I also talked on the phone with Rhonda realized it seemed like Hannah was treating her like a secondary friend not a best friend. There are many explanations. I don’t need to write them all down. But the next morning before school, Hannah and Rhonda talked about it all, I walked with them. It came out to seem like Rhonda didn’t want to be her friend anymore or to just take a break, which I did not want to happen at all. But it wasn’t the best conversation between them. Hannah was all apologizing and Rhonda’s tone wasn’t helping the situation. I didn’t say a word the entire time. Just listened. During band I told Tabitha about everything, and Samantha listened in. Later at lunch Hannah looked really sad, and Rhonda didn’t want to talk to her because she might say something wrong or it might just be a repeat of the conversation that morning. So, I went over to Hannah and I asked her if she’d want to walk. I told her “Rhonda is hurt, and at the moment doesn’t want to talk to you because she can’t look at you the same.” I could tell Hannah was really sad about it. But to just give Rhonda some time to cool down and think it over more. After school that day Rhonda and I were talking, and she asked me what my opinion was of her reaction and Hannah’s actions. I told her I thought she was overreacting a little bit, but I understand how she felt. I understand both sides of them. If I was Rhonda I would have reacted the same way, but not talked to her as harshly as Rhonda had. I had told Hannah that I’ll be her friend no matter what and I would be there for her whenever she needed. Which helped. Thursday night we had pep bad. I gave Tabitha a ride and asked her what her opinion was of the situation. She said she understood both sides but doesn’t want to be involved in it. (Like I was, right in the middle of the two of them) and I think Tabitha was in a good spot. She knew she wasn’t as close with us at the moment because she’s been really busy with basketball. Friday morning Hannah and Rhonda walked and talked without me there. Which was good because they worked everything out and their fight was over. And I was really happy about that, well ecstatic. After school yesterday, Hannah, Tabitha and I went to Starbucks and talked about it some more. We said how much high school drama sucks and how out of hand it gets. Especially with the people who we’re friends with.

New rule – don’t tell Beth anything that you’d want passed around to people, who especially don’t need to know. And know who your true friends are because they can help you get through everything. And that is so amazingly true. So, we came up to the cabin last night and that’s where I am right now. I rearranged my things on my walls in my room and moved my bed. I’m reading Breaking Dawn for the second time and in love with it! I SO want a boyfriend right now!

So, I guess this notebook has come to an end. ☹ too bad. now I have to start another one haha. But I like writing in journals and looking back over it years later and see how much I’ve changed. So, I guess this is good-bye! There is some juicy stuff in this journal that’s for sure! The first half of my sophomore year of high school! Aww! Well, cya!

<3 Ava Estelle

Present day me: this is just the beginning of high school drama between all of the girls….