February 8, 2009
Today I made, well decorated this new journal of mine! I like it for now. I’ll probably change it later. So today we came home from the cabin. It was uneventful up there. Eddie and I went on the atvs, I finished reading Breaking Dawn last night. I insanely love the twilight saga! I could read those books over and over again. But anyway, I am in pretty much desperate need of a boyfriend. Like I feel like I’m going crazy without one. I want to have my first kiss, I want to cuddle with someone, flirt with them. Spend a lot of my time with him. But I have no one. Not even close to a guy I could like or go out with. Ugh! And lately I’ve been having dreams about “potatoes” and I feel like I want that. Well, not all the way. Just the stuff that leads up to it. I want a guy I can hold hands with down the hall, who I can make fun of and he’d do the same but it’d be a way of flirting. And those lovey dovey moments when we just give each other compliments and stare into each other’s eyes. See? I know a lot about relationships, and I’ve only been in one! But I don’t know if that could really count as a real relationship. Oh well, I guess I’ll just keep praying. If I could have a guy to like me for me, and maybe be going to Hawaii with the band that’d be so amazing! Haha. Well, I guess I better be going to sleep so I can fantasize and dream about potatoes with that cute guy. *wink wink*
<3 Ava Estelle
Present day me: “Potatoes” is code word for sex. My only relationship at that point was on the phone and through aol instant messenger, so I was ready to have someone I could go out with who lived in the same town as me.